BravoBoardBoss
September 2, 2004 - 12:13 PM
This Aussie transplant popped the big question to his South African girlfriend. How well did Britain's answer to the Fab Five help him prepare? Share here!
ThomsTeddyBear
September 2, 2004 - 12:42 PM
Wow, they put the U.K. board up here! I thought for sure they'd make a separate forum but this is cool...makes it easier for me to travel the boards too.
The Stephen T. epi seemed to show what I've always thought of as the classic British laid-back sense of things. That's NOT a bad thing, just a different thing. The U.K. boys were quieter coming into the house, they didn't trash it like our boys do, and though there is a dramatic change in the makeover - it's on a subtler level than that of our boys. Being that we are two different cultures, I'm guessing that it's perfect for Stephen T. and his fiance.
I was impressed with the African themed tent Dane set up, it was very nice. He's no Thom, but he's alright.
And Jason, the culture guy, was cleaning the shower in his skivvies! And with the shape his body was in, there's no WAY I'm complaining about that!
Tristan...Tristan is my boy! I love his look and he's funny. If he ever came to the states, I'd hope that he would get a chance to hang out with Thom because I'm sure they would get into a ton of boyish trouble!
Question, when they asked Stephen how high he rated his girlfriend, WHY DIDN'T HE SAY 9 1/2 OR 10?! Come on guy, think! They're asking you first, she's standing right there, they're going to ask her next!
I liked the U.K. boys reactions when they were watching the proposal - it reminded me of our boys when they cry. Julian especially was crying his eyes out - they were so red that I felt sorry for him.
I never catch much during the first viewing of the U.K. episodes because I'm steady trying to catch the language - I'm glad they have the subtitles! At least until I get an ear for the accent. I'm going to buy a tape today and record the U.K. shows separately. I didn't have a tape for it the other night and that sucked rocks. Next thing you know I'll be bi-lingual!
TTB
Depoetic
September 2, 2004 - 01:04 PM
Oh my goodness! The dear BBB created a thread!
Yes, I watched the episode - and found it much better than the last airing. The boys seemed to be trying too hard to be funny last time. This one was more relaxed - and easily more genuine.
I loved how Jason (Oh please let me remember the names right this time) went bounding through the house and found the little "Hope Chest" with the paper rings! How WONDERFUL! She was HOPING to make a life with this dear man!
I thought the make over of the ENTIRE place was amazing! How much time is Dane given to do the apartments in the UK?
I loved everything from the romantic bedroom to the clean lines of the living room and the "Out of Africa" touches on the romantic tent in the back yard.
The wine instructions were wonderfully given by Payton, and the selections combining their heritages was a wonderful touch. Payton and the fashion expert just touched my heart with all their tears during the proposal. What dear hearts these guys have!
For the life of me - I can't remember the fashion experts name - but he had me cracking up while he took the MB's measurements! (Measuring the inseam) "Spread 'em! I know what I'm doing! Trust me, I'm gay!!!" LOL! I was amazed that he went shopping so many places without the MB - but I suppose Carson does too. (Well trained little doggie - that LuLu.)
I giggled throught the ring purchasing - all the designs were lovely and I had to laugh when the MB seemed to get so nervous! His desire to join Australian diamonds to represent his homeland - and a South African central stone to represent her homeland - and put it all in a traditional English setting to illustrate their new homeland - was such a beautiful sentiment.
The whole scene of Tristan (the grooming guy?) taking the electric razor and shaving the MB's arms, just cracked me up! I nearly fainted when Tristan's moisturizer was used by the MB on his entire upper body and that tiny jar cost $365.00! (It was supposed to be for his face!)
This dear MB was fun to watch as the guys took him from place to place. I thought he had great energy and willingness to learn. Sure - the UK show might be like diet soda when we're accustomed to the "real thing"... but I really enjoyed it.
...One scene in particular I commented on over at Hip Tips before the BBB gave us the thread! LOL! Thanks for letting us see the show, Bravo!
Peace and grace to y'all! --De
signladybc
September 2, 2004 - 01:24 PM
Well, I haven't seen the whole episode yet--was out last night and taped it then saw the end of the second showing so I can only say, I miss OUR Fab Five!
Now, what I'm going to say next is going to ruffle feathers and I don't mean to.
This just a GENERAL statement of my feelings about ANY group of folks who are over the top stereotypical.
I don't care for Anna Nicole Smith because she is SO over the top in the sexuality stereotype.
I never cared for John Wayne because he was so stereotypically all man.
Get it? So, I'm not crazy about several of the UK FF because they are over the top swishy in my opinion.
Don't scream. Don't ban me from your group. You KNOW I'm not a homophobe! I've shared honestly with you my opinions, my respect, and my love for the Fab 5 and for many of my own gay friends!
I have connections with folks in the Deaf world and some of those folks turn me off too when they are over the top Deaf.
So PLEASE accept these comments in the spirit they were given.
Okay, to continue. I did like the end of the episode and the proposal. There was a good deal of sensitivity and caring for both the SG and his lady. I'm looking forward to seeing the whole show tonight and will write more later.
Forgive me? Accept me?
Cheers,
SLB
big_fan_of_Jai
September 2, 2004 - 02:10 PM
Oh, my! They've done it! UK show boards are now on this forum also! Supe, didn't you say something about this? Anyway, let's just hope that things don't get too jumbled up. I didn't see the episode, but it seemed like it would have been good.
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Love for Jai!
fbarbie
September 2, 2004 - 04:55 PM
Does anyone recognize the song they played while he was getting ready for the party? The only lyric was "I believe in a thing called love" and I thought it was so nice. I can't find it on the web. Anyone know? Thanks.
notevayas
September 2, 2004 - 05:21 PM
Quote:
Well, I haven't seen the whole episode yet--was out last night and taped it then saw the end of the second showing so I can only say, I miss OUR Fab Five!
Now, what I'm going to say next is going to ruffle feathers and I don't mean to.
This just a GENERAL statement of my feelings about ANY group of folks who are over the top stereotypical.
I don't care for Anna Nicole Smith because she is SO over the top in the sexuality stereotype.
I never cared for John Wayne because he was so stereotypically all man.
Get it? So, I'm not crazy about several of the UK FF because they are over the top swishy in my opinion.
Don't scream. Don't ban me from your group. You KNOW I'm not a homophobe! I've shared honestly with you my opinions, my respect, and my love for the Fab 5 and for many of my own gay friends!
I have connections with folks in the Deaf world and some of those folks turn me off too when they are over the top Deaf.
So PLEASE accept these comments in the spirit they were given.
Okay, to continue. I did like the end of the episode and the proposal. There was a good deal of sensitivity and caring for both the SG and his lady. I'm looking forward to seeing the whole show tonight and will write more later.
Forgive me? Accept me?
Cheers,
SLB
I am myself trying to understand why the UK Fabs annoy me. They seem good people and all. They need a more balanced mix of men. And they need a different angle so they are more than pretenders..
I hope Bravo keeps one thread and just keeps changing the heading. I don't want this board cluttered with lots of UK threads with 10 or 12 posts.
Better to make a "Things I hate about You" thread. I do enjoy those funny (mostly straight) couples!
notevayas
celtic_wench
September 2, 2004 - 05:36 PM
Quote:
Does anyone recognize the song they played while he was getting ready for the party? The only lyric was "I believe in a thing called love" and I thought it was so nice. I can't find it on the web. Anyone know? Thanks.
There is a song by Darkness called "I believe in a thing called love" but I'm not sure that's the song they were playing. Here are some of the lyrics:
Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel
My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel.
Touching you, touching me
Touching you, 'cause you're such a fool
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh! Huh!
I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day
You got me in a spin but everything is "A" O.K!
Touching you, touching me
Touching you 'cause you're such a fool
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
I didn't tape this episode so I can't go back and view the credits. Maybe someone else caught it.
my_guy_ky
September 2, 2004 - 07:48 PM
Quote:
Get it? So, I'm not crazy about several of the UK FF because they are over the top swishy in my opinion.
I agree with you on this part, luv, actually. Especially that fashion guy. What a flamer. I like looking at Dane, but I can't daydream about him at all because he's so over-the-top pansy-like.
signladyb
September 2, 2004 - 08:34 PM
So now I've seen the whole episode. Let me begin with my positives to make it up for the grumpy previous post.
I really liked the made over flat. Dane could give Thom a run for the money. And I agree that the more muted tones fit my idea of British living. The tent was amazing!
I also loved the little treasure chest and Jason's help with the rings. I didn't catch the symbolism of the diamonds in the band so thanks for pointing it out--that was a lovely gesture on Stephen's part. And I was quite taken aback by Jason(?) cleaning the shower in his skivvies. A little over the top but it didn't turn me off.
I didn't think the wine scene came off too well but I probably need to see it again. And how did Mr. Couture manage to buy such great clothes with only one measurement? I really loved the leather jacket that he looked at. Did he buy it?
Okay, now for my negatives. I guess the music needs to be the same and the sequencing also to keep us aware that it is still QE with an accent. But if ever anything LOOKED scripted I thought it was this episode. I preferred the first UK episode in this respect.
Throwing things out the window, dressing up in the SG's clothing, in several places I felt like deja vu all over again with new faces and accents.
And there was a scene in the car where the guy in the white jump suit was clapping his hands as they discussed the marriage proposal that I felt was so fake! Sorry, I calls them as I sees them.
The reveal however was quite touching. I think the UK FF were their most honest at that point. They are likeable men basically and I will certainly watch again next week. If for no other reason than to get their names straight.
Cheers,
SLB
Superannualted
September 2, 2004 - 08:39 PM
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signladybc stated:
"This just a GENERAL statement of my feelings about ANY group of folks who are over the top stereotypical.
I don't care for Anna Nicole Smith because she is SO over the top in the sexuality stereotype.
I never cared for John Wayne because he was so stereotypically all man.
Get it? So, I'm not crazy about several of the UK FF because they are over the top swishy in my opinion."
*********************************************
Yes, John Wayne and Anna Nicole Smith are 'larger than life' to many of us. Can you imagine how EXTREMELY over the top they must appear to our more reserved British friends!
The English, by and large, are a more class conscious lot -- the result of hundreds of generations of stratification by wealth, education, nobility, and privilege. Some of them are facinated by American egalitarianism and at the other end of the spectrum some are repelled by it. For instance, the UK Fab Five do not descend on their victim and lay waste to all his earthly posessions. To do so would be an affront to British sensibility.
Within their class system, many educated persons might be classified as "effete." They are very proper and precise, speak in modulated tones that some Americans might call "affected," and exhibit mannerisms that one might term "effeminate." But, nevertheless, many of them are functioning heterosexual men and women who would be highly offended if they thought that others questioned their sexuality.
As an American, I can understand your perception of the UK Fab Five. That does not mean I agree with it. I suggest that the line between overt homosexual expression and "effete-ism" in the British Isles is blurred at best. UK Queer Eye is geared for its own domestic market and should be judged in that context. I could be wrong, but it is my opinion that by and large, the general population of Great Britain would perceive their 'boys' much the same as we in the colonies see our own.
so speaks Supe, "Blimey, matey! I hopes were not goin' t'start World War III!
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whiskers
September 2, 2004 - 10:13 PM
Quote:
And Jason, the culture guy...
can't deal with that full frontal comb-over.
tomasulo
September 3, 2004 - 07:32 AM
slb: No need to apologize for your honest opinion. It didn't sound mean-spirited to me at all. In fact, I sort of agree with you in way and here's my clumsy attempt at an explanation. Because all of these guys have such "out there" personalities (no pun intended), I do not see the contrast that I do with my Fab 5.....sorry, I mean OUR Fab 5. (Note to self: mention fantasy possessiveness to therapist next visit.) It could well be that I'm not watching the UK eps with the same concentrated intensity that I watch the US eps, but it's also possible that OUR guys DO have greater contrasting qualities: Jai with his sweetness and emotionality (is that a word?), Ted with his dry wit, Kyan with his sensitivity and spirituality, Carson with his quick, quirky, courageous humor, and Thom (must take a moment here to sigh) with his amazing talent, his ability to listen with his heart, his brain, and his eyes (another moment please), and his gift for showing his affection for those around him with hugs and a pat on the shoulder at exactly the right moment (must remember to breathe).
ThomsTeddyBear
September 3, 2004 - 08:19 AM
Quote:
I really liked the made over flat. Dane could give Thom a run for the money.
exsqueezemewhat? baking powder? Oh, you were kidding!
What do you mean you weren't kidding?!
ThomsTeddyBear
September 3, 2004 - 08:24 AM
Quote:
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Yes, John Wayne and Anna Nicole Smith are 'larger than life' to many of us. Can you imagine how EXTREMELY over the top they must appear to our more reserved British friends!...
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SA - I hope you don't get offended when I tell you that I pictured you saying all this dressed up in a George Washington style military uniform with an eye-piece up to one eye, posture straight, and your free hand behind your back, lol
nothin' but love for ya
ThomsTeddyBear
September 3, 2004 - 08:25 AM
Quote:
Quote:
And Jason, the culture guy...
can't deal with that full frontal comb-over.
Not a prob, I wasn't lookin' at the comb-over
big_fan_of_Jai
September 3, 2004 - 09:43 AM
Quote:
Quote:
I really liked the made over flat. Dane could give Thom a run for the money.
exsqueezemewhat? baking powder? Oh, you were kidding!
What do you mean you weren't kidding?!
I just have to say, I agree with TTB. I like Thom's designs more. Plus, I'm a fan of Tristan! (but not as much as Jai! )
----------------
Love for Jai!
nellybell27
September 3, 2004 - 09:52 AM
I hope no one takes offense to what I am about to say, but I think that the UK boys are gayers than the originals, AND I LOVE THEM FOR IT. And while the originals are still #1, I now have a special place in my heart, for the UK guys.
This is the first ep that I have seen from the UK, I missed the first, so please excuse me, I have a few first time observations:
1. What is with the dog (Lulu)? I mean she is cute, but I can't believe that they actually let non-seeing eye dogs into stores just like that.
2. What is with the FRICKIN' captions? I mean I love the UK to US translations, but how hard is it really to understand what the guys are saying. I know that the accents seem heavy to American ears, but we are all speaking the "Kings english" in some form right? Message to QE producers: LOSE THE CAPTIONS.
3. I don't know if anyone on this board are fans of the Backstreet Boys, but if you are, then you'll know who I'm taling about. If you aren't, then I suggest you google them. Anyway, doesn't the design guy, Dane, look like a much slimmer, cuter, and possibly younger Nick Carter, or at least Nick Carter when he was younger. It is a little weird since I suspect Dane is older than Nick.
4. Will & Grace fans will appreciate this comparison. To me, the originals are like Will: gay, lovable, dependable, companionable, and more introverted in demeanor and apperance (yes even Carson). The UK are more like Jack, fabulously flaming, out, and exubertantly loving it. In my imaginary world I would probably favor Jack over Will, but in my reality world, I think that I would like Will better. (This is not to say that one is more something than the others, these are just surface observations).
Anyway, I loved this episode, and I love, love, love the UK guys. I am looking forward to more episodes from these guys. I hope we get to see the season 2 episodes also
Nellybell
SueintheUK
September 3, 2004 - 10:07 AM
Sorry Superannualted, but I'm English and I agree with signladybc. I can't stand the UK version of QEFTSG because the UK "Fab" 5 are so over-the-top camp and effeminate it's just ridiculous and highly irritating! Also, IMHO they just don't have the talent, charisma, charm and warmth of any of the US Fab Five, although Dane does have talent as an interior designer. PLEASE don't assume that English gay men are all like that! I am an old married lady of 50 (!) but my two closest friends are two young gay men who are not at all camp or effeminate and no-one meeting them would ever know they were gay unless they were told. That's NOT because they are hiding their sexuality, purely that they are just being themselves:- down-to earth ordinary men to whom it would never occur to put on a strange theatrical act and behave like pseudo-women! I am dismayed that the UK production team couldn't come up with a better Fab Five than that.
To me the difference is that, when I watch the original US QEFTSG it makes me feel happy, it's a really "feel-good" programme and the FAB 5 are likeable and funny. The UK version is just annoying and doesn't put me in a good mood like the US one does.
Superannualted, would I be right in guessing that you haven't met many English men, gay or straight? Not being nasty, it's just the impression I get, because you appear to base your opinions on fictional stereotypes in films and TV, which is perfectly understandable if you've nothing else to go on, innit mate? ;-)
Btw, anyone who has ever visited the Living TV QEFTSG forum will know that many other UK viewers share my opinion
JayeH
September 3, 2004 - 11:35 AM
Quote:
*********************************************
Yes, John Wayne and Anna Nicole Smith are 'larger than life' to many of us. Can you imagine how EXTREMELY over the top they must appear to our more reserved British friends!
The English, by and large, are a more class conscious lot -- the result of hundreds of generations of stratification by wealth, education, nobility, and privilege. Some of them are facinated by American egalitarianism and at the other end of the spectrum some are repelled by it. For instance, the UK Fab Five do not descend on their victim and lay waste to all his earthly posessions. To do so would be an affront to British sensibility.
Within their class system, many educated persons might be classified as "effete." They are very proper and precise, speak in modulated tones that some Americans might call "affected," and exhibit mannerisms that one might term "effeminate." But, nevertheless, many of them are functioning heterosexual men and women who would be highly offended if they thought that others questioned their sexuality.
As an American, I can understand your perception of the UK Fab Five. That does not mean I agree with it. I suggest that the line between overt homosexual expression and "effete-ism" in the British Isles is blurred at best. UK Queer Eye is geared for its own domestic market and should be judged in that context. I could be wrong, but it is my opinion that by and large, the general population of Great Britain would perceive their 'boys' much the same as we in the colonies see our own.
so speaks Supe, "Blimey, matey! I hopes were not goin' t'start World War III!
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There you are, Supe!!
I agree with what you wrote. Overt homosexual expression is not the same as 'effete' behavior. So much is cultural...
Which leads to a personal observation--some of these behaviors are so embedded, some of us don't notice that we exhibit them. Take sex-roles. Even in the gay community, a certain chivalry of gay guys toward their straight female friends is very sex-typed and sometimes extremely so. Some gays are critical of butch women. Some women prefer to be stereotypically "feminine" in that they expect men to hold open their doors, pay for dinner, play coy with lines and attitudes taken from romantic movies, etc., to the point a person can't discern what is real and what is a put-on. Men do it, too.
So, what is honest expression? By the post written, SLB (and she is being perfectly honest in her opinion, and I respect that)has a problem with the over-the-top swishiness of the British F5...yet we have Carson. When this show first came out, Carson was singled out first as the gay stereotype, and that there were people who couldn't/wouldn't watch, because it was offensive. Now, I think most of those who are critical,(or who just gave up)have eased up on their opinion of the US show, because of the strength of the personalities involved. The truth is that some of us are swishier than others, but that doesn't make us fake or phony, when we all adapt to our culture in some way.
I think the British Boys might thaw out, but I have no idea if they'll get any less "swishy." I would attribute what SLB calls "swishiness" to childish exuberance or phoniness rather that to a true effeminacy. Any other more refined behavior that stands out is as SA has stated-a cultural difference.
I can't imagine how our F5 are going to be received when they hit England's shores...Carnaby Street will never be the same!
Thanks, SA, for the insightful commentary--do you have a hatbox for that tricorn? Oh, wait, I have to remember who I'm talking to--of course, you do, and I bet you have a separate dressing room as well!
Peace and love, kittens!
Rjaye.
Superannualted
September 3, 2004 - 01:51 PM
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TTB twittered:
"I hope you don't get offended when I tell you that I pictured you saying all this dressed up in a George Washington style military uniform with an eye-piece up to one eye, posture straight, and your free hand behind your back, lol"
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Martha Custis said she'd never marry me if I used my full name on our wedding invitations. Ever since, I just use my middle initial to keep the misses happy.
.......George Superannualted Washington (grumbling to himself, "Gad Zooks! I've been 'Outed' by a Morman nun from the Order of The Immaculate Rejection of The Thom.")
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signladybc
September 3, 2004 - 02:05 PM
Oh my goodness! Notevayas, MGK, Tomasulo, and SA, You have restored my faith in Folks That Inhabit the Boards (FTIBs). You understood what I was saying, you didn't shame me and you expanded my thoughts with information that I can use when I am feeling a bit judgemental!!! Thank you one and all!
I still disagree that they UK FF didn't come on too much like our boys. Especially throwing clothes out the window. That is funny when Carson does it, when UK Couture guy did it, it was for me redundant.
Gotta watch more of the UK so I can get to know their names. It's disrespectful not to call people by name.
By the way (see how old fashioned I am, I don't even use cyber speak or whatever it is called), I told Depoetic privately that I have been crawling back thru' the postings from Tick Tick because I was so curious about him after reading all the laudatory comments.
Do you think he would approve of my opinion? I love his posts and they strike me as erudite and funny over the top. I think I would love to talk with him one on one. He has a cynical, sensitive writing style and doesn't mind calling 'em as he sees 'em. Wish he would come back.
Well off to finish my day.
Cheers,
SLB
Subversive
September 3, 2004 - 04:03 PM
So far I'm not very impressed with the UK edition folks. The original Fab Five have incredible style sense and they are also able to focus on the unique personalities of the different people they help. So far, the UK folks seem to lack these abilities and instead are about poor imitations and tired cliches. The finished product simply doesn't look that good. And shaving a guy's arms? Come on now, that would only be appropriate in Queer Eye for the Gay Guy. The UK team needs to shape up or ship out.
ThomsTeddyBear
September 3, 2004 - 04:45 PM
Quote:
2. What is with the FRICKIN' captions? I mean I love the UK to US translations, but how hard is it really to understand what the guys are saying. I know that the accents seem heavy to American ears, but we are all speaking the "Kings english" in some form right? Message to QE producers: LOSE THE CAPTIONS.
NNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Love ya girl but NNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
I need those captions! How am I going to understand them the first time without them? The way they speak is too culturally different to get it the first time. Don't take my captions away - I'll pout - I'll cry!
TTB - making puppy-dog eyes
ThomsTeddyBear
September 3, 2004 - 04:55 PM
Quote:
***********************************************************
TTB twittered:
"I hope you don't get offended when I tell you that I pictured you saying all this dressed up in a George Washington style military uniform with an eye-piece up to one eye, posture straight, and your free hand behind your back, lol"
**********************************************************
Martha Custis said she'd never marry me if I used my full name on our wedding invitations. Ever since, I just use my middle initial to keep the misses happy.
.......George Superannualted Washington (grumbling to himself, "Gad Zooks! I've been 'Outed' by a Morman nun from the Order of The Immaculate Rejection of The Thom.")
***********************************************************
That's MRS. Morman nun from the Order of The Immaculate Rejection of The Thom-Filicia!
JayeH
September 3, 2004 - 10:09 PM
SueintheUK--
I guess one of the reasons I agree with SA on the cultural differences is that I have known a lot of Brits, and there is a difference between how Americans and Britons act. Usually, Americans are much more confrontational and direct than Brits (unless a soccer game is on).
And while a gay man may not seem any less macho than a straight guy, that can be just as much a pose as any flamer's pretense, despite protestations to the contrary. Gay people are still struggling to find where we belong in society, and most gays have some sort of guilt to deal with-and that influences how we act. Heck, we even have fetishized "straight-acting" in our community, along with many of us using it as a cover, because contrary to QE, most gays do not live in tolerating towns, much less accepting towns. Until people accept all of us, I guess only the cuddly, unoffensive queers need apply for visibility.
I'm a little disturbed by what this thread has produced.
Rjaye.
nellybell27
September 5, 2004 - 01:32 PM
I understand exactly what you mean. I don't necessarily mind though. For me I decided at the onset of the UK episodes to just take these eps on their own merits. I have purposely decided to not compare the two shows that much since I want to keep an open mind about them.
I kinda thing of it this way: whose to say if the UK versions had come first if I would like the US versions as much. (I'm sure I would have, but you never know).
It is kind of like all the US TV shows that are based on UK TV shows. (For example, The Office or Queer As Folk) The main complaint people have is that the US version is not as good as the UK version.
Nellybell
star86
September 6, 2004 - 09:20 AM
Hi everyone, I'm back! Sorry it's been so long! My holiday was great! Three weeks of travelling Germany and France! Anyway, I'm trying to get to grips with all the new boards and hundreds of new messages! I see you've seen the UK Queer Eye! Interesting!
I have to admit that this post by Superannualted has made me somewhat angry! I don't mean to offend as I see he's a regular here now but this statement about British people is completely wrong!! I think another user called SueintheUK commented on this too! Where did you get this "information" about British life? Seemingly from My Fair Lady or Mary Poppins!! We speak in "affected" tones, have you heard real British accents or do you assume we all speak like the Queen?! Have you ever been to the UK and I mean outside of London where yes, some speak in "affected" tones! Granted there is a slight "class system" but the majority of the British public are working class!! I don't believe we are "fascinated" by American egalitarianism nor repelled by it!!And for saying that the BRITISH are a "more class conscious lot -- the result of hundreds of generations of stratification by wealth, education, nobility, and privilege", well, you clearly have not been outside of London! Only our Royal family and the nobility/aristocrats come under this!!! Some parts of the UK are poverty-stricken, only 15 minutes from where I live there is such an area! We are not all Hugh Grants or Julie Andrews and clearly you think we are!! And needing subtitles for the UK episodes, why? I really didn't know that Americans didn't understand us! We don't need subtitles to understand Americans!!
Sorry for this but you have to get rid of the stereotypes you so obviously have!!
*star goes for a cold shower to calm herself down*
Superannualted
September 7, 2004 - 09:56 AM
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TTB pouted:
"That's MRS. Morman nun from the Order of The Immaculate Rejection of The Thom-Filicia!"
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You forgot to tell the folks that your full title includes "Mother Superior of the Unrequited."
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so snarks Supe, . . ."and you should her what the sisters call her behind her back!"
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Superannualted
September 7, 2004 - 10:55 AM
star86 simmered:
"I have to admit that this post by Superannualted has made me somewhat angry! I don't mean to offend as I see he's a regular here now but this statement about British people is completely wrong!!"
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In my travels it has been my privilege and pleasure to spend time in cities outside of London -- Huddersfield, Southampton, Edinburgh and Stratford to name a few. Back in the United States I number British expatriates among my friends, some of them quite close ones. Most recently, I spent a very pleasant weekend with a couple from your country who made a special trip here to attend my niece's wedding.
My post was not intended to establish or perpetuate stereotypes. Your answer omits all of the qualifying statements I made and the carefully chosen limiting adjectives I used -- such as "some" and "many."
I suggest you re-read my my original post -- and really try to understand my thoughts, this time. I was writing about a segment of British society, not an criticism of the enire United Kingdom. If you still require another "cold shower" then perhaps we're just not on the same wavelength.
Supe
Depoetic
September 7, 2004 - 11:45 AM
Quote:
So far I'm not very impressed with the UK edition folks. The original Fab Five have incredible style sense and they are also able to focus on the unique personalities of the different people they help. So far, the UK folks seem to lack these abilities and instead are about poor imitations and tired cliches. The finished product simply doesn't look that good. And shaving a guy's arms? Come on now, that would only be appropriate in Queer Eye for the Gay Guy. The UK team needs to shape up or ship out.
I'm sorry you don't like the QE UK folks - I find them quite charming... and with only two episodes to guage them on, I'm willing to wait for the broader picture.
Regardless - welcome to the forum hon. I do hope you are interested in coming back and telling us your thoughts on the regular boys too.
Peace and grace to you. --De
Depoetic
September 7, 2004 - 12:46 PM
Quote:
Hi everyone, I'm back! Sorry it's been so long! My holiday was great! Three weeks of travelling Germany and France! Anyway, I'm trying to get to grips with all the new boards and hundreds of new messages! I see you've seen the UK Queer Eye! Interesting!
I had begun to worry about you darlin'! So glad to see you back. I'm sorry you had to return and become so upset. SA is a cool gent... please take time to read his back posts when you can - including the silly stories we've begun.
Quote:
I have to admit that this post by Superannualted has made me somewhat angry! I don't mean to offend as I see he's a regular here now but this statement about British people is completely wrong!! ... And needing subtitles for the UK episodes, why? I really didn't know that Americans didn't understand us! We don't need subtitles to understand Americans!!
I happen to need the subtitles - and occasionally wish for more. You have also grown accustomed to seeing Americans in the media who know how to enunciate - even when sporting an accent. There are areas in our very large country where those with extremely different accents have trouble even understanding each other because they don't enunciate properly.
When the Texas shows air - y'all might need subtitles (for example) if any of the kids in the Denton area University's Frat house come from small Texas or Oklahoma towns. (I'm guessing there at the University of North Texas.) Our accent is quite thick in many areas.
The accents you are accustomed to - and colloquialisms you regularly use are easy for you to understand. There are a vast number of British phrases I've never heard of - and appreciate the translations. Even when I watch the USA version I have to watch it at least once with my TV's closed captioning on to catch the occasional word I've missed because of a NY accent.Quote:
Sorry for this but you have to get rid of the stereotypes you so obviously have!!
*star goes for a cold shower to calm herself down*
I'm sorry you got upset, Star - and if I know SA, he'll be here to answer you.
...I am glad you made it back to Scotland ok.
SA was answering Signladyb and in a way others that are put off by the tres femme actions of the QE UK guys... so I will make only this comment.
There are shows I watch where characters act in abusive manners. Sometimes it is a "type" played by the same character actor or actress in several different shows. ...He or she's been "type-cast." When I see that actor or actress interviewed I occasionally catch myself being surprised that they seem so sweet. That when I remember they're just ACTING in their photo plays. From THIS experience I understand the seat from whence comes other's expressions of being uncomfortable with what they don't care for. ...After all - it's television, and the actor's job is to elicit an emotion from their audience.
~~~~~~~~
When I watch someone who is being themselves, and not an actor - I look to see what they are like. If they are subversive, shifty or abusive - I tend not to like them. If they appear open, friendly and genuine - I tend to like them. So as far as personal preferances go - to each their own. I don't even think about some actions - while others register with me hard.
For me? I don't care if the guys from the UK are more or less effeminate acting than any other man. They have taken their jobs with joy - and seem to listen to each person's needs. With Barra - he needed a break into the media world, and they got it for him. With Stephen, he needed a romantic way to ask his beloved for her hand - and they did it beautifully.
Are the QE UK guys terribly demonstrative? Yes. So what? They are who they are comfortable being. As Carson, Jai and Kyan said in an Advocate interview:
Carson: We always get the stuff about us engendering every gay stereotype. And one thing: Hi, it's a reality show. We are not cartoonish, and we're not pretending to be super gay or super straight or whatever. We're just being ourselves, and I'm not going to make any excuses for who I am, and I don't think any of these guys are either.
Jai: It's rude. Because you are commenting on who we are as people. We're not playing a role.
Kyan: Just to play devil's advocate, even if we are embracing a stereotype that gay guys are effeminate or whatever, so what? A gay guy can be effeminate. It's ok. If someone has a problem with it, they need to lighten up. They need to open up their minds.
So now for those of us that think QE UK is too over the top - I submit that it is your choice. Do you try to look beyond the things that you aren't accustomed to in order to learn about someone new? Or do you change the channel? To each their own. Personally - it's easy for me, I kinda like what I've seen so far - so I'll keep watching.
Welcome back again Star86. Peace to you hon. --De
notevayas
September 7, 2004 - 05:30 PM
Welcome back *star*! It's great your back and in the thick of an interesting debate! I'm learning much from all the different viewpoints. And, for once, I'm sitting on the fence chewing on a straw.. Yaaaaaaaaaay!
notevayas
P.S. I suggest Woodhue soap for the shower.. calms me down.
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 06:02 AM
Ok... The Graham Norton Experience from Comedy Central is a show I had never seen before... but Carson was going to be interviewed. As I have in the past - I sat down with pen in hand and did a transcription for the folks who didn't have the opportunity to see the show.
Unfortunately I got hit with a bug that just doesn't want to let me go just yet.
I'm transposing letters, or dropping them altogether, and misspelling even the simplest words. I can't type very fast and I'm having to proof even little posts a dozen times to get them right... but I'm tired of waiting to get well... so I'm going to post it anyway...
This was a 12 minute interview - and an 11 page handwritten transcription. Graham Norton was no simple interview. It was indeed an experience. He had all sorts of seemingly unrelated things going on that all culminated in Carson's participation. It was very confusing and terribly funny... and just when you think, "Why on earth am I reading this?" You'll come to a funny moment and understand how great this all was.
I hope you are patient - I'll be typing through posting deadlines, so this will come through a little at a time, and probably with other posters commenting on other things in between. I'll have to take a lot of breaks - but I'll get it online for you guys.
Peace and grace to you. Joy and love in your worlds today!
--De
ThomsTeddyBear
September 8, 2004 - 06:18 AM
Quote:
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TTB pouted:
"That's MRS. Morman nun from the Order of The Immaculate Rejection of The Thom-Filicia!"
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You forgot to tell the folks that your full title includes "Mother Superior of the Unrequited."
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so snarks Supe, . . ."and you should her what the sisters call her behind her back!"
************************************************************"
I left out the main title because I was relaxing at that moment - habit off and kickin' back. Oh, and behind my back they call me "b*tch"...they just think I don't know
TTB - a Beautiful Intelligent Tough Child of Hades
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 07:12 AM
Because the "Graham Norton Experience" is one talkshow I hadn't watched before - I had no idea that gags from the beginning of the show were going to run the length and breadth of the program. I had my VCR at the ready to tape Carson's appearance alone... and he followed HBO's "The Soprano's" star: Edie Falco. ...Since I don't have premium cable channels, I have never seen the "Soprano's" and know next to nothing about Ms. Edie Falco - save that she and dear SG Al D.'s girlfriend look remarkably similar.
I talked on the phone, I did filing, I wandered in and out of paying attention to what was happening as this tanorexic blond tornado of mayhem drug people out of the audience to get them to do odd things.
There was a girl I totally didn't pay attention to. Graham ultimately punished her for something by making her leave the studio wearing a advertisement placard stating that she was terribly gullible. She was to walk around Time's Square in NYC wearing the placard during the taping.
Another segment took an internet tour of a site where people uploaded pictures of themselves sexually molesting public statuary. This seemed to delight Graham to no end, so he selected a young man from the audience, gave him a camera-available cellular phone and sent him on an assignment to find a statue in New York City and to take a picture of himself molesting the statue while they watched via a digital camera mounted on the roof of their NYC Production Studio.
Yeah... I couldn't see how any of this had anything to do with Carson either... so I didn't tape it. ...I should have though, just so I could give you the whole story. Sheesh! WHO KNEW???
The camera that was mounted to the top of their building was capable of panning the length and breadth of several blocks and returned crystal clear pictures of NYC at night with breathtaking accuracy. The zoom function was able to bring every person on the streets below into clear view - and all was broadcast to the studio audience and guests onstage via the studio monitors and the lap top computer seated next to Graham on his wild white sculptured table.
(Very similar to the DJ table Thom got for Sean.)
I've never seen a set so well lit - let alone colorful - that looked so very dark simultaneously. The set had an almost amphitheatre look to it. Quite expansive. The stage was a lift platform requiring only two steps that was banded with string lights. Very "Price Is Right" gameshow set looking. The walls and floors were black lacquered reflecting the pink and purple lighting hitting the studio audience. The stage was covered in a dusky pink carpet. The black walls were polka dotted with circular holes cut in them where pink and purple light gleemed through. There were occasionally panels of nearly egg shaped rectangles of teal, green and yellow lit blocks. The green panels were behing the guests and at the top of the audience staircases. The main staircase from the back of the audience to the stage was red lacquered and grand. This is where guests of the program were escorted to Graham, flanked by brawny blond twins.
Ms. Edie Falco was the first to be interviewed by Graham in her gold gown and tightly cropped hair.
Graham did remind me quite a bit of Carson. He is totally tanorexic and peroxide blond with a very engaging smile, quick wit, and wonderful eyes that sport a wicked-playful gleem. He was wearing a salmon-pink shirt lined with an almost argyle like thin diamond shape. It was remeniscent of the Pringle of Scotland shirt Ted wore for the Warren epi. Graham had brownish black dress slacks and black patent leather dress shoes with a wild-print tuxedo jacket that had solid black satin lapels. Very Carsonesque.
Graham Norton opened the second segment wearing coke-bottle-bottom thick glass Mr. Magoo glasses to announce Carson's arrival. Carson was atop the red lacquered staircase flanked by two VERY fit young blond twins. They were shirtless to show off their bulky muscular build, in tight white pants and shoes along with the Chippendale's pink collar and cuff bands.
Carson had his arms through the beefy bent arms of both twins that flanked him. The audience went mad with screams for Carson before Graham could even finish saying his name. Carson's face was remarkably calm as his mouthed surprise at the thunderous welcome, and proceeded down the staircase. He was wearing a ribbed white tuxedo shirt with a small collar unbuttoned two or three buttons from the throat, heavily bleached and distressed blue jeans, a satin/silk looking black tuxedo jacket with crinkle styled lapels and three brass buttons up from the jacket sleeve cuffs. The shirt's cuffs could be seen around his wrist with his upraised hands - and they looked unbuttoned around the wrist. Carson was wearing what appeared to be black "biker" boots with a spat strap, and black belt. A silver "watch-bob" chain went from his right side belt loop into his right front pocket. He wore his now well known gold ring on the right hand and a watch with a black leather strap on the left. I never saw a chain (or necklace of any kind) visible.
Now, I know they do makeup before shooting these things, but with his straight hair and gorgeous low-lights, his skin just looked like light smooth caramel. When he rocked back in his chair - I was struck how flawless his skin looked. ...Simply devistating.
Well, pets... so much for page one... ten more to go...
--De
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 07:45 AM
Just to make it easier on me, folks...
GN = Graham Norton
EF = Edie Falco and if I get tired typing his name,
CK = Carson... ok?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GN: I'll tell you one thing... (ripps off Mr. Magoo glasses) YES Ladies and Gentlemen, he IS the star from queer EYE for the straight GUY - MISTER CARSON KRESSLEY IS HERE!!!!
The audience's screams and wild applause drowns out Graham's shouts to introduce Carson. Carson descends the staircase waving to the crowd and mouthing "HI!" When Carson reaches the edge of the pink carpeted stage, Graham has come to meet him. Graham takes Carson's hand for a handshake and pulls him into a 1/2 hug with a kiss on each cheek.
GN: Hullo darling! {MWAH! MWAH!}
Graham runs back upstage to his seat beside the table far house left. Carson sees that the twins have parted and exited stage left and right. He turns with sort of a sleepwalker movement and hurries house right after one twin, then - seeing he's missed that one,
Carson: NO!!
turns to pursue the other. The audience is eating the silliness up with a spoon. Carson then turns with brief mock dejection to walk upstage, says hello to Edie Falco and takes his seat between GN and EF.
GN: (Sits down in his chair,) I, I thought it was TRIPLETS coming down the stairs! (EF cracks up.)
Carson: I KNOW!!! Where'd you get those look alikes? I know! Can I keep them?? PLEASE, MOTHER?
GN: (Laughing,) Incredible!!
Carson: (Dual gestures) I felt like I was at a gay wedding and they were my two hunks of honor! (EF and GN laugh) They're HOT!!! I WANT them!!! (Carson looks longingly off stage.)
GN: The trouble is - once you've seen them - you HAVE to see them BOTH at the SAME TIME!
Carson: (Dual gestures) BOOKENDS!
GN: You'd feel let down if you only had ONE, Edie! If you KNEW there was another one of them wandering around.
EF: You're right! You're right!
Carson: (Turns to EF and gestures toward Edie emphatically,) You know - when you want MORE than a meal, you want a MANWICH! OK? (EF laughs madly.)
Sorry - must break. --De
star86
September 8, 2004 - 08:05 AM
Quote:
I had begun to worry about you darlin'! So glad to see you back.
Thanks for the welcome back, De. I'm so sorry it's been so long! I was away on hol for 3 weeks in July, I went to Germany for a week, then Paris for 5 days and then up to a place called Benifontaine in the north of France to visit my French friends! I went with the the folks-mum,dad and wee brother and I think we have now decided no more driving holidays! It was good fun but after a while the driving does tend to get a bit irritating! Anyway, I've been back for over a month and in that time, I've failed my driving test! I'm not ashamed to admit it, it was my first time but I was a bit miffed!! I'd done everything perfectly until my examiner put on his brakes when he assumed I had not seen a car coming towards me when I was attempting to turn right when in fact, I had! Oh well, that's life, eh? And I start University in 2 weeks! Eeek!! I'm getting a bit nervous now!
Quote:
There are a vast number of British phrases I've never heard of - and appreciate the translations.
When you say phrases, please tell me what they are. I'm curious! I know most British phrases but there are different phrases and words used in different parts of the UK. As I've said before, Glaswegian tends to be in a world of its own as is Cockney rhyming slang!
*star*
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 08:09 AM
(Audience applauds Carson's comment.)
EF: Sign ME up!
GN: THAT would be the trick, sister!
GN: (Turns to Carson,) And, Listen, congratulations to you on ALL your success! It's AMAZING! (Audience whoops and applauds.) It just IS!
Carson: THANK YOU! (Audience still wild) Oh, STOP! (Carson waves away audience's adulation.) Please! (Smiles.)
GN: Now, when shows do very well, they get paid the ultimate compliment... it's happened to the "Sopranos" apparently. (Shot of EF looking surprised.) There's a tape out there... an ADULT tape out there called, "The So-pornos"... have you seen the "So-pornos?"
EF: I'm in it. (Catches herself with mock shock and horror, then breaks into laughing.)
GN: (Teasing) Are you IN the "So-pornos?" (Laughs.)
(EF shakes her head "no" while still laughing.)
Carson: I'M in it, though! (EF laughs louder.)
GN: WELL... You've got your OWN one, though - what's YOURS called?
Carson: (Left index finger resting on temple, dimples a blazin') I think it's called "Queer Eye for the G.I. Guy."
GN: "For the STRAIGHT G.I. Guy!"
Carson: (Softly but emphatically,) Oh......!
GN: See? "Queer Eye for the STRAIHGT G.I. Guy!"
Carson: (With constant wonderfully fluid gestures,) Yeah, apparently we BUST into some barracks and really give him the once over. (All laugh.) I haven't seen it, but I really want to see who plays me - and I'll be like, "Wait a minute! I'm not BRAZILLIAN!" (All laugh.)
GN: And, ummmm... there's a list of men... You've a list of male celebraties you'd like to make over?
Carson: (Looks pensive,) Oh....
GN: Didn't you say that?
Carson: No. I mean, I'd like to make over David Beckham - but that's just because I'd like to get him naked in the dressing room! (EF laughs loudly.) I don't really think that he needs any work. He's pretty fine.
EF: He's alright. (Nodding) He's alright...
Next break... Hang in there, I'm gonna get this online yet!
--De
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 08:55 AM
GN: I read that you wanted to do James Gandolfini! (Lead actor of the "Sopranos.")
Carson: Oh, REALLY?
GN: Yeah... Well, not...
Carson: "DO?" "Do," in what sence? (Woman in audience 'Whoops.')
GN: NO! Oh, no... (hands in rolling gesture) "Make OVER."
Carson: Oh, That could be fun...
GN: I'm not suggesting it, I read YOU suggested it! (EF laughs.)
Carson: (Softly but emphatically,) Ohhhh.... What do YOU think, Edie?
GN: I could care less, it's just, I thought it was a fabulous deal with you both here as my guests...
EF: No, I'm staying out of it...
Carson: (Left hand with two fingers gently against his cheek - thoughtfully,) Yeah...
EF: (Low voice) I want to keep my job. (Carson turns to her expressionless and turns back.)
Carson: No. I don't know, but I think it would be fun to do a cameo on the "Soprano's" where I could be like, you know, some gay sales associate at the Short Hills Mall (audience laughs) and I could make fun of James Gandolfini...
EF: He shames Carmella... (her character.)
Carson: ...Or his shoes... and then he guns me down on the New Jersey Turnpike... (GN & EF laugh and audience laughs and applauds,) Like I just HAPPENED to be hanging out at the Vince Lombardi Rest Plaza... (All laugh.)
GN: WAIT!!! I can re-enact this episode!
Carson: Uh oh!
GN: Using soft toys!
GN turns to the odd egg-shaped end of his computer desk and opens a drawer - pulling out a stuffed dog. It has a cigar in it's mouth and is wearing a blue trench coat and grey Fedora. This is followed by a small, cloth, blond, boy doll with a black mustache.
Carson: Oh! yeah! (EF laughs.)
GN: Wait! Wa-Wait! 'Cause I've got THIS one... (squeezes the dog)
Dog: How ya doin'? How ya doin'?
Carson: And then I say... "I'm Super, thanks f..."
GN: (Interrupting,) Wa-Wait! Wait! I've got THIS one!
(pulls up boy doll.)
Carson: OhMyGhod! That's ME!
(Graham hits the doll on the head and it says: )
Doll: It's only kinky the FIRST time!
EF: Oh My Ghod!
Carson: That's TOTALLY the episode!
(Audience is in stiches as GN continues...)
--De
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 09:03 AM
Quote:
Oh, and behind my back they call me "b*tch"...they just think I don't know
TTB - a Beautiful Intelligent Tough Child of Hades
Jes' don't be countin' ME in their numbers... and yes, you can ask ANYBODY if that's so!(The ones who would not only misrepresent you - they don't know you.) Peace hon.--De
Superannualted
September 8, 2004 - 09:26 AM
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TTB trumpeted:
"I left out the main title because I was relaxing at that moment - habit off and kickin' back. Oh, and behind my back they call me "b*tch"...they just think I don't know"
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Don't listen to her, folks. She's fibbing. I, for one, have never heard the pious sisters call her "Butch!" Now, her evil twin . . .
G.S.W. (incognito)
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Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 09:55 AM
(Graham hits doll again.)
Doll: Oh my ghod, it's HUMONGOUS!
(All scream with laughter - shot of Carson laughing beautifully.) (Graham hits doll again.)
Doll: I can't fit ALL of that in my mouth!
Carson rocks WAY back in his chair laughing - mouth wide open - that lovely neck showing the veins down either side of his wind pipe - almost an absolutely orgasmic shot! He rocks forward again, still laughing hysterically.
Carson: I LUUUUV it! That's it!!! (His dimples showing deeply as he continues to laugh. The audience and EF are still laughing and GN just grins and giggles most wickedly.)
GN: That's the episode!
Carson: (Making a "clapboard" motion,) SHOOT IT! That's a wrap!
EF: Oh my ghod!
GN: (Puts the dolls back in the drawer, then makes a quick chopping motion with his hands,) CUT!!! (Laughs)
GN: I think it's.. it's... (is distracted by something off camera, then turns to the audience,)
Remember Brandon? Little Brandon? (Audience aplauds affirmatively.) Who went out... OH! LOOK AT HIS FRIENDS!! (Makes mock clapping motions.) Well, we sent him out with his camera cell phone to molest a statue. Well, he's in Time Square now and he should be on his cell phone. BRANDON?
Brandon: Hello?
GN: Hello Brandon! You're in Time Square?
Brandon: Yes! I'm here!
GN: Can you hear me?
Brandon: Yes, I can hear you.
GN: Ok, good. We've got a camera high above Time Square...(GN turns to his computer and pulls up a picture of NYC at night.)
Brandon: Ok.
GN: OH! Doesn't that look GORGEOUS! You can't see this, obviously Brandon, (audience laughs,) but New York is LOVELY at night!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~
The picture changes to a night view of the city. It is almost so brilliantly lit that you can't tell if the sun has completely gone down. The angle of the camera is on the vista below - no sky is visible. The solid glass skyscrapers are bathed in black reflecting every color around them. The roof tops of shorter buildings are all bathed in brilliant ultramarine blue light. Buildings are polka-dotted with tiny white-lit offices all over their faces, while the glass reflects amber, orange, blue and in one spot - vibrant kelly green light. The streets look as if they are on fire with the last embers of a long burning hearth. Red orange light flames up from the streets, dotted with the blue-white headlights of cars and the amber glow of street lamps. Time Square isn't visible in this shot - only an assortment of glass and steel buildings. One of the shorter buildings seems to have a rooftop that is lit with soft white light and sports green hedges or trees. It is a truly heart-stopping view of the city.
--De
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 11:32 AM
GN: So! We'll get to you in a minute... I just want to look around! (He moves the camera by remote with his computer.) It's LOOOOOOOVELY, isn't it? It's really REALLY nice! At, so now, we need to try to find you.... (Shot of Carson leaning back and watching the ceiling monitors while listening to GN.) (Shot of GN's back as he peers into the computer screen.)
GN: OOooooo! Look! Is that a roof garden? OOOOOooo! Look! There's a PARTY! (The camera zooms in on the roof where several men and a woman are mingling. There are lovely bushes in cedar barrels, a couple of trees, a statue, a grey bench, a small table and bar.)
GN: Obviously you're not at a party, Brandon, but there is a party... also, a GAY party, I'm sensing.
Carson: I think so....
EF: Oh my ghod, that's SO funny!
GN: There's one lady and a lot of stylish furniture.
Carson: (Watching the ceiling monitor,) Yep. (Nodding with a faint smile while absently rubbing the fingers of his left hand together.)
GN: Oh! Actually... that's perfect!
EF: There's a statue!
GN: There IS a statue! (Audience laughs.) So... Brandon... where are you? We'll try to find you...
Brandon: I'm right in the middle of Time Square.
The camera pans left to Time Square which is so brilliantly lit - it could be daylight there. The buildings are covered with multi-bulbed avertisements run by computer with ever changing adverts. There's a bright blue-lit building with the letters "CNBC" running around it. The camera takes it all in, then begins to pan down into the street of Time Square.
GN: (Audibly gasps,) OH! It's FANTASTIC!! Isn't it? ...So, you're right down there... So where is he?
People come into view - all milling around. A statue of a man in a suit and bowler hat up on a short base is in the center of the picture - but it is heavily whitewashed, like the artist made it from plaster instead of stone. To the far right is Brandon, looking up at the building's camera and waving slowly.
GN: Where is he? Where's Brandon? Oh, THERE you are, waving! (some in audience cheers) Ok, there you are...
Brandon: Yes. (Friends in audience shout, "Yeah!")
GN: Ok, do you see the statue?
Brandon: yes.
Carson: Oh, yes...
GN: Ok. Go ahead and molest it!
--De
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 11:53 AM
Brandon: Ok. (Audience with shocked laughter.)
GN: Go on!
Brandon walks over in front of the statue with the cell phone still to his ear. He bends down in front of it as if to perform a sex act, seems to think better of it, and then moves around to the left side of the statue.
GN: (Shouting) Go on! Just jump on it! Jump on it, Brandon!
People on the street begin to notice Brandon around the statue. Mothers pull their children away. Brandon climbs on to the base of the statue, puts one arm around it and looks up at the building... confused(?)
GN: Ask... Ask...
The audience is shrieking, EF has slid down to a slump in her chair laughing incredulously and begins to applaud, Carson is laughing and applauding as well. The camera turns back to Brandon when suddenly the STATUE elbows Brandon off the platform and takes a new position! It was a MIME! Audience, et. al. EXPLODE with laughing fits!
GN: Oh! OH! THAT didn't go well, Brandon, and we're afraid the police will come! So, if you go back, there's a party... there's a party...
Just then, the girl with the "I'm gullible" sign walks into view.
GN: Oh, look! It's HER! What's her name? It's Amina! It's Amina! Brandon...
Brandon: Yeah?
GN: Stay on the line, because we saw a party - a party with a statue in it, ok?
Brandon: Ok.
GN: So, someone will give you directions on how to get there, ok? It's in a penthouse, so we're going to get you there, and you can try THAT statue, alright? (Carson laughs.)
Brandon: Ok.
GN: Go ahead and say hi to Amina, she looks a bit lonely! (Stammers with laughter.) Alright? See you in a bit Brandon!
Brandon: Alright.
GN: Alright, BYE! (Turns to audience,) and we're going to take a bit of a break - see you after these messages!
--De
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 12:17 PM
(Carson is seen running his fingers absently through his hair.)
GN: (Gestures toward Carson,) The Fabulous Carson Kressley! (Audience roars.) NOW, Carson Kressley has diversified, yes? (Carson's face is placid, his eyes following GN and Graham bends again to his desk drawer to pull out Carson's new book.)
GN: Yes he has... he's written a BOOK! (GN popps the book loudly with his hand.)
Carson: I KNOW! Can you BELIEVE that?
GN: "Off The Cuff" ( He strokes his hand over the title.)
Carson: (Softly, pensively) Can I see it? I haven't seen it yet. (Sliding forward and reaching from his chair.)
GN: (Pulling away) NO! (EF rocks back laughing.)
Carson: No! I REALLY haven't seen it!
GN: (Handing Carson his book,) Oh, ok, there you go.
Carson: They said the real book is out. I said, "The REAL book is HERE?" (He takes it from GN, EF smiles big at Carson.)
EF: Wowwwwwwwwwwwww!
Carson: Wow! It's like a school book! (He flips it open, EF leans in to see.) Carson has the most beautiful hands I've ever seen! (Sorry - but it had to be said.)
EF: FANCY! So nice!
Carson: Oh, there are diagrams of...
EF: Oh my ghod, there are diagrams! Hysterical!
Carson: Oh, see? It's about pregnancy... (EF frowns heavily - confused, Cason turns to another page while GN laughs.) No, it's really not. (EF smiles.) But LOOK, there's a little, you know, there's a little map of the states... (he points his long slender finger at the continental US map which is striped horizontally - blue, to green, to orange, to red...Carson points to the red in Texas.) It tells you what fibers to wear where... cotton and linen down in Texas - and then these - then WAY up here in Minnesota it says, "Too cold! Relocate!" (Everyone laughs.) I mean, c'mon! Wow. (hands book back to GN.) That looks good. I like it!
GN: That's good! When's it out? It's out soon.
Carson: September 23rd. (Nodding.)
GN: you've written a book (Drops book onto the floor beside him.) and I've read that you're in a MOVIE!
Carson: (Brushes back hair absently from his face.) Yeah! I did a movie!
GN: With Hillary Duff...
Carson: And Heather Locklear! (Runs fingers through his hair again.)
Sorry - I need another break from this... --De
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 01:38 PM
Carson: (Carson runs his fingers again through his hair, this time turning his back to the audience and holding out a large smooth lock of his hair.) We often got confused on the set because there were so many beautiful blondes!
(EF laughs loudly, Carson turns back, sits straight in his chair and gracefully crosses his legs in one flawlessly fluid move.)
Carson: And Chris Noth! "Mr. Big" from "Sex in the City!" (Audience 'whoops.') (Carson leans forward confidently,) Yeah, Yeah... (he then swaggers back in his seat,) GOT TO TOUCH HIM.... (holds the "m" in "him" a while in a braggadocious fashion then pops his lips apart blending into a grin as he leans boldly back in his seat.)
Carson: And you know, EVERYONE says making a movie is so difficult and arduous and the long days... and I was like, "Please! How hard can it be?" You know, they do your hair and makeup, they say, "Go to your trailer." I was like, "I have a TRAILER?" I was like, "No Way! I love that!" 'Cause I had a little U-Haul originally when I moved to New York! ...And I thought, "This couldn't be so hard..." (EF & GN laugh.) Carson speaks and his hands are constantly making these beautiful, graceful gestures. He never speaks without some fluid movement of his hands.
CK: After the first day, it was like 16 HOURS, and I was like, you know... you do things over and over and over again. And I was SO dead, I went back to my lovely Hotel in Toronto and I was still wearing my clothes from the day, and I just thought I would lay down on the bed... I was SO exhausted, I just thought I'd flop down on the bed and close my eyes for a second, and then I'd get up, take a shower, and get ready for the next day.
CK: Well, you know how at nice hotels, they turn your bed down and the sheets are kind of exposed and they're nice and white and crispy? (He demonstrates with his hands looking at EF, EF nods.) And they put two, like, mints [there]? Well, I fell asleep (rocks all the way back in his chair illustrating) ON THE MINTS!!! (GN laughs and winces while the audience laughs and "Oh No's!") But they were covered in CHOCOLATE! So for like, 8 hours, I just slept on them and my body heat melted them! So I got up at like, 6 o'clock in the morning and I took a shower and I was like, "EEEWWWWWW!!!" (He demonstrates reaching to touch his back.) I had CHOCOLATE all over my like, Dolce and Gabbana! And I showered and I came back out to put my clothes on ( ) and I looked at the bed in HORROR and there was a giant BROWN patch! ( ) (All collapsing in laughter, GN giggling wickedly as audience gaffaws and applauds.)
--De
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 02:10 PM
Carson: (A brown patch) In the middle of the BED! And it was on my FIRST day on the movie, and I thought, "Oh my ghod! They're going to call the Producers! They're going to say I crapped the bed! (Everyone still laughing,) So I was mortified! And when I got on set, I was like, (Shamefully whispering low and slow with left hand's fingers on temple) ( ) "Did anyone say anything about the bed?" (Leans over to EF,) I was asking Hillary Duff, "Did anyone mention anything to you or your mom?" VERY EMBARRASING! Poor mesmeric-cutie-Carson! (I'll save my personal thoughts on a chocolate covered style maven for your own wicked imaginations! )
GN: (Getting another high sign from off camera,)
Uh, yes... Oh? Ok - well, we're going back to our statue molester, Brandon.
GN: Brandon... ok, we found this statue at the roof terrace party, now, ep, we can go back to have a look... the thing is, I've been told that he's IN the building... He's gotten past security... (Laughs) We call it "SECURITY" (making quote marks with his fingers,) (Pretending to be Brandon:) "Yeah, I'm going to the party." (Pretending to be the Security Guard:) "Ok, in you go!"
So, he's in there now... So, Brandon?
Brandon: Yes?
GN: Ok, So - where are you now?
Brandon: I'm right in front of the party, but they won't let me in!
GN: Even in your cute grey T-shirt? Yep, ep, ummmm, ok... knock on the door and we'll talk to the organizer! (Giggles, the picture of the terrace party is on the monitors - GN turns to Carson,) It's not a great party is it? (Audience laughs.)
Carson: It's a little sparce... a little sparce...
GN: (Scrunches face and uses overly exaggerated hushed tones,) It's EARLY yet...
Unknown Person: Hello? Hello?
GN: (Jumps in his chair and then spins frantically to Carson - whispering,) Oh! YOU talk to him! YOU talk to him!
Carson: (Startled, leans forward in his chair and speaks while looking down - making his voice project, then listening intently for answers.) Oh, HI!!! (Audience cracks up.) HELLO?
Unknown Person: This guy just handed me the phone, and I don't know what's going on...
Carson: Oh! THAT's BRANDON! What's YOUR name?
Unknown Person: My name's Tom.
Carson: Hi, Tom! It's CARSON from "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy."
(Longest pause imaginable)
Tom: (Screams away from the phone,) S**T!!!!!
(audience bursts out laughing, EF applauds.)
Tom: What are you doing? What are you doing?
Almost done pets.... -De
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 02:50 PM
Carson: Now it's, ummm... MY BOYFRIEND's trying to get into the party - and he has a note for that nice lady in the ummm... well, the ONLY lady there...
( A dawning comes over Carson's expression. Perhaps he's realizing... how do you explain knowing WHO's at the party and who's not...)
Tom: (Absolutely incredulous, but obviously recognizing the voice,) You're Carson, from "Queer Eye?"
Carson: Yes!
Tom: THIS is your BOYFRIEND????
Carson: YES!!
The audience is freaking out and GN is almost laughing himself to the floor. ...Now Carson's grin has widened into a little bit-o-wicked and he's obviously loving every minute of this.
Tom: Are you SERIOUS? That... ummm... oh... wow... (You can just HEAR him now questioning Carson's taste in men! LOL!) I, ummm.... can't believe it! I mean, is this for real? Is this TV? What's happening?
Carson: No, just be a lamb and let him into the party, would ya?
Tom: Uh... well... uh...
Carson: Pretty please?
Ton: Uh, yeah... Whatever you say! I LOVE YOU, Ok? You're great!
Carson: Ok, Thanks! (The audieance becomes absolutely riotous with cheering and applause.)
GN: (Glistening eyes almost weeping from laughing,) Brandon, have you got the phone back?
Brandon: Yes.
GN: Oh, hi! (Brandon is seen entering the terrace waving up to the building.) Oh! There he is! Quick! Quick! Go to the statue! Use your phone!
Brandon goes to the statue of a bathing Venus and tips it back to strattle it. A young man with long blond hair is behind him holding the phone to take a picture. I think he was seen at the party before - so perhaps Brandon got Tom to help with his picture taking.
GN: Excellent! Well done Brandon! he's going to send us that photo and we'll be right back!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, guys - Graham Norton got people out of the audience to play a match game called "Sex Faces" where Carson and Edie were to look at a person's sex face photo and match them up with another person on stage as who was their mate. Carson only got one comment off at the beginning - and then it was all Graham Norton. At the end it was just thanks to everybody and sign off - with Carson waving goodbye. I'll put the opening comments on the next post - but not the whole segment. Peace! --De
Depoetic
September 8, 2004 - 03:06 PM
GN: Well, y'all are you ready to play a little game with us now - it's sort of a match the partner game. Now each of these three people here, Christine, John and Jay - they have a partner among that rable over there. Ghod help us. So it's WHO is with WHO is with WHO - you see?
EF: Oh.
Carson: Oh, that's easy - we can figure this out...
GN: We're going to be looking at the face that these people make while they're (leans over to make loud whisper) DOIN' "IT" - you see...
Carson: (Softly - understandingly - while sitting stark upright in his chair,) Ohhhhh....
GN: it's their "sex face" - so, ladies up first. So here's Christine's "sex face" (Her head is on the pillow with her eyes closed and mouth open.)
Carson: Oh, nice...
EF: She's not hard to get...
Carson: That's "tantric."
GN: She makes love like a princess, not a hair out of place, Christine...
Carson: She doesn't even have a filling... well... not in her mouth... (audience whoops, GN turns in mock shock.)
GN: OH! CARSON KRESSLEY!!!
Carson: (Hand over mouth in mock embarrasment,) Oh my ghod, I'm so NAUGHTY!!!!
GN: She's just sighing like a bottle of champagne - just being opened...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh yeah... I'm going to crawl back in bed now. Y'all have fun. I'll think of you while eating my cough drops!
Do they make paraffin treatments in bath-tub sizes?
Nitey nite! Peace! --De