The thing is, the anti gay thing for me does not exist. It is very difficult
having people discount how difficult it is seeing someone bully others no
matter what the reason and no matter how many problems the person
being bullied has that makes them a target. Any hidden agenda I might
have isn't really hidden at all. I was badly bullied as a child and as well
as a young adult. The reasons for me being bullied was my size and
that somehow I always seemed to say the wrong thing. Not trashing
people, just trying to fit in and not doing it very well. During the first
season Peeler rubbed me the wrong way. It was during the second
season that I began to see that Peeler is a damaged personality. He
has clearly been through a lot and he clearly struggles. For some reason
people seem to like to go for people like Peeler. Quick temper, calming
oneself down with booze, so common it begs to answer why billions are
not spent figuring out how to help such individuals. I loved Jackie. I
felt like I understood some of the behaviors I made excuses for until
the third season. I will not lie. I really wanted Jackie and Rebecca to
be together. The way Jackie was going to make Jesse pay for his
insistence that Rebecca just wanted more airtime. I made excuses for
Jackie intervening when it should have been just Rebecca and Jesse
working it all out. For me it was pretty obvious the person who would
do anything for more airtime was Jesse. This third season broke my
heart. I was stunned and felt more than just a little bit sick when
Jackie intruded on Erika and Rebecca's bootcamp. I felt ill when Jackie
brought Breana<sp> to the barbecue in the first episode third season
and sat at the dinner table making out with Breana. However, that
shock other than me feeling for Rebecca comes from the fact that I
personally would never make out at a table at a barbecue or anywhere
else where so many people were at my same table. It was tacky as
well as hurtful for Rebecca. I really like Rebecca in many ways. When
I was younger Rebecca was the kind of girl I wanted to be. Confident
and able to be able to get through difficult situations without
humiliating myself. Whether gay or straight, man or woman, there
are certain areas of behavior one needs to maintain. Jackie stepped
way over the line. I have no anti gay bias. Like most people I
struggled with my sexuality and actually never really figured it out.
Having back surgery can really derail the details so I simply decided
that if I meet someone and I click with that someone that whether
man or woman that is the relationship I will go after. It is better to not
rule anyone out. I don't know about anyone else on here but there
is no anti gay agenda with me. It has been a slap in the face for
anyone to come on here and make it clear that they believe that there
is no way that what we are doing MUST be anti-gay. How bigoted are
these remarks???? I had some very close friends that I grew up with
who were beaten up badly, lost jobs, all kinds of anti-gay actions. So
for me to be accused of anything Anti-Gay just gets me upset. I sat
at one friend's hospital bed after his beating. It was difficult to even
recognize him from the swollen features. All of these close friends
died within the last 20 years from AIDS. I lost so many people. It
still makes me cry to think of how horrible the struggle against AIDS
was. Anytime I'd write about it on the local BBS boards people
replied saying my friends deaths were what they deserved because
they were involved in acts against GOD. Most of these friends were
Christians and they went to church every week. Even if they went to
the bars on Saturday night. Speaking for myself, stop with the
accusations of my stand against Jackie Warner's behavior in this show
as being Anti-Gay. I don't deserve it, and I'd bet neither do the others
who are also standing against the bad behavior of Jackie Warner. It
is wrong and extremely hurtful. Why is it so difficult to believe that
having loved this show and Jackie Warner and then seeing her take that
love for her to a place where she believed that because we love her
we will understand Lisa and she trashing a client and then lying about
trashing the client. Firing Peeler because he wanted an apology from
her. I think that once you see the heartless behavior of someone who
you thought was an incredible human being you simply cannot go back
and love her the same way ever again. Whatever the reasons behind
my feelings it is not Anti-Gay and never would be. I have made a lot
of mistakes in my life but that area is not one of them.
Kari Ana
QUOTE (KisaB @ May 21, 2008 - 09:48 PM)

I was never a Jackie fan but have developed an odd appreciation for her after the attacks became so brutal. Plus, I understand when True and Dacia discussed the whole hidden anti-gay agenda thing. It totally exists and can't be completely discounted.